For the past couple weeks, I’ve been a little under the weather. I’ve been trying to keep up with work and with school and all of my outside responsibilities, and I haven’t been focused on my blog so much, but I have been reading. During the days leading up to Rosh Hashanah (Sept 28) in Judaism, and continuing through Yom Kippur (Oct 8), one of the major things required of Jews is to repent and reconcile. Repent of their sins, meaning TURN FROM them, not just say “I’m sorry.” And reconcile relationships. If apologies are due, make them. If relationships can be mended, try. If you need to forgive someone, forgive them. For that matter, if you need to forgive a whole group of people, do that too!
In that vein, I made a list of all the people I was harboring resentment against. Maybe they hurt me deeply, maybe they abandoned me in a time of need, maybe they hurt my children or my family, maybe they changed my perspective of God. There were more names on that list than I care to admit ((and I consider myself a pretty forgiving person!)) I went through
One Jewish tradition that speaks to me strongly is the tradition of the "Days of Awe" just before the Jewish New Year. For one thing, it has a really cool name. Days of Awe. It kinda makes you stop.
Second, it has a lot of symbolism, but for this I need to explain a little background:
Yom Kippur is the "Day of Atonement". Ten days before Yom Kippur is Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year.
According to Jewish tradition, it is during the Days of Awe (The ten days between Rosh Hashanah) that God finalizes each person's fate in the next year. He inscribes these decisions in a book on Rosh Hashanah, but they can be changed until the end of Yom Kippur, when the books are sealed.
Everyone knows about King David, and probably most people who have spent anytime in church have heard the story of David's first wife, Michal, and how she mocked him in front of all the people and God struck her childless. Today, I would offer her story from a different perspective, the perspective of a woman in love.
Her story can be found in 1 Samuel 14, 1 Samuel 18, 1 Samuel 19, 1 Samuel 25, 2 Samuel 3, 2 Samuel 6.
Michal was the daughter of a King: the first King of Israel, in fact, King Saul. She had an older sister. In those days, Kings would marry off their children, daughters especially, to other powerful people so as to secure an alliance with those people and thus protect his throne.
At the time, King Saul was feeling a little threatened by a certain young hero, David, who had recently slain a giant and was favored by the people. After David killed the giant, the people were celebrating and singing a song that drove Saul nuts: "Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands". This lit Saul up with jealousy, envy, and paranoia and so he kept a close eye on him. At the same time, Saul's son, Jonathon, had become very close to David, in fact, best friends with him. Saul ended up putting David in charge of a huge army which did nothing but increase his fame and valor in the eyes of the people. So, when Saul realized he couldn't really kill him, he decided that he would set David up.
He came up with a scheme to give his oldest daughter, Michal's sister, to David in marriage, in return for David going out on the front lines and fighting bravely. (His secret plan was to have David in such a dangerous position that he would be killed by the Philistines). David politely declined, saying that he wasn't worthy of a King's daughter, and this infuriated Saul. Around the same time, Saul's second oldest daughter, Michal, came to him and confessed that she was head-over-heels in love with David. This is the only time in the Bible I can find where it says a woman was in love with a man:
Now Saul’s daughter Michal was in love with David, and when they told Saul about it, he was pleased. 21 “I will give her to him,” he thought, “so that she may be a snare to him and so that the hand of the Philistines may be against him.” So Saul said to David, “Now you have a second opportunity to become my son-in-law.” (I Samuel 18:20)
David agrees that this is fair and heads out to collect the foreskins. He kills 200 Philistines and delivers the foreskins to his father-in-law and is subsequently married to Michal.
When the attendants told David these things, he was pleased to become the king’s son-in-law. So before the allotted time elapsed, 27 David took his men with him and went out and killed two hundred Philistines and brought back their foreskins. They counted out the full number to the king so that David might become the king’s son-in-law. Then Saul gave him his daughter Michal in marriage. 28 When Saul realized that the LORD was with David and that his daughter Michal loved David, 29 Saul became still more afraid of him, and he remained his enemy the rest of his days. 30 The Philistine commanders continued to go out to battle, and as often as they did, David met with more success than the rest of Saul’s officers, and his name became well known. (I Samuel 18: 26-30)
While Saul was trying to think of ways to get rid of David, Michal loves him even more, and when Saul finally DOES hatch a plan to kill him, Michal and her brother Jonathon warn David. Michal begs David to leave when Saul is sending his soldiers to arrest David, but it's too late for him to go through the city gates, so Michal lowers him with a rope out of her window and he flees into the darkness. No sooner does he get out, then soldiers are at the door demanding David. Michal says that he's sick and she will not send him and her dad, the King, will just have to wait. This buys enough time for David to escape properly. When the soldiers come back with the intent to bring David in his sickbed to the king, they discover that Michal has cleverly hidden statues under the covers to make it look like someone asleep in the bed, and instead they arrest her and bring her to the King.
Saul is pretty furious that Michal betrayed him, and to save her own life, Michal tells him that she didn't have a choice and that David forced her to hide him and lie to protect him. Saul buys this and doesn't kill Michal. In the meantime, David is a fugitive. He makes no effort to contact his wife, although he sends messages to his best friend, her brother Jonathon, and even meets him on a few occassions, but he doesn't have anything to do with his wife, who was in love with him and waiting for him to send for her! Then, Michal hears through the grapevine that David has taken a couple more wives, which upsets her greatly, I'm sure.
Since it's been so long since David left, Saul decides that Michal's marriage was as good as dead, and goes ahead and marries her off again, this time to Paltiel, a semi-powerful man from another city. Eventually, her feelings for David subside and she settles into this new marriage.
Over the years, David ends up gathering enough support that he can overthrow the king. The King's sons are killed (including David's best friend, Jonathon), and the King, knowing that he is about to be defeated, commits suicide. Then David comes back. Two new wives in tow, he comes to take "what is his" - Michal. David ends up making a treaty with Sauls only living heir, and in the treaty, Ishbosheth agrees to give Michal back to David. She is ripped from her home once again, and given to this man that she hardly knows by now. It is made more tragic by the fact that she probably didn't want to go, and her husband Paltiel was desparately in love with her.
When they took her awa to give back to David, Paltiel followed the procession, weeping and begging them to stop. He finally went home when one of the more savage and evil of the army guys in charge told him to get lost.
The story continues to an unhappy ending for Michal, who is locked up in the harem for several years without seeing her husband, then when she finally DOES see David, he embarrasses her by dancing around half-naked through the town, and God is angry with her for being embarrassed and confronting him. She spends the rest of her life without love and childless. Not only that, but her husband David continues to do despicable things like kill a man for his wife and lay all of his conquests end to end to see how far they stretch out... he's not, apparently, the nicest person to be married to. All in all, I feel sorry for this strong Jewish heroine. Even if she was wrong in laughing at and confronting David, Michal was dealt a pretty rough hand and it's no wonder she was angry and bitter!
Saul sent his servants to David to tell him "Look, the King really wants you for a son-in-law. I know you said that you're not worthy to be married to a King's daughter and you're from a poor family, but here is the only price for your bride, Michal: 100 Philistine foreskins."
I would be remiss in not mentioning the importance and emphasis placed on certain women in Jewish history. As I said in an earlier post, women are considered more spiritual and intuitive and their male counterparts. It should come as no surprise that women are spoken of with important roles in Jewish history. In the Bible, here are some profiles of just a few of those great women.
Deborah - Prophet, Wife & Mother
The first reference to Deborah described her as a prophet and a wife. She served as a Judge of the Jewish people - in essence, the Queen and spiritual leader - during her reign. She was well-respected among her peers, even a male general who refused to go to war when Israel was being attacked unless she joined him in leading. She gathered a huge army and lead them to victory. Judges chapter 4 tells her story, which I will paraphrase here:
So, Ehud the judge passed away, and the Israelites were wandering from the path (again). So God let them become oppressed (again) for twenty years. They were getting really tired of a man names Sisera who was cruel and vindictive and also happened to be in charge of the enormous army that was oppressing them, so they started crying out to God for help (again). During this time, Deborah - a prophet and a wife - was leading Israel. She held court under a palm tree (aptly named the Palm of Deborah) and would listen to people bring their grievances and sort them out day after day. One day, God spoke to her, so she called General Barak (the commander of the Israeli army) and told him this: "God says that you need to gather your army of ten thousand, then go to Mount Tabor. I (God) will lead Sisera's army there to the river by that mountain, then you can rush down and kill him with all your men."
Usually in every religion, I highlight some interesting and less-known oddities about the religion I'm studying, and I will do that in Judaism as well... here are some interesting beliefs (and superstitions) Jews have.
Like all ancient traditions, religious or not, there are multitudes of customs and superstitions regarding all aspects of life and death. I found these the most interesting today...
If a woman drinks the havdalah wine she will grow a beard.
Havdalah means "separation" and marks the end of the Shabbat and other religious holidays. In Jewish tradition, Havdalah is recited over wine. In the ceremony, a candle is lit, and the five senses are used. Havdalah is recited over kosher wine or kosher grape juice, although other beverages may be used if wine or grape juice are not available. On completion of the Shabbat, a special braided Havdalah candle with more than one wick is lit, and a prayer is recited. It is customary to gaze at one's fingernails reflecting the light of the candle. Spices, often stored in a decorative spice container, are handed around so that everyone can smell the fragrance.
Havdalah is intended to require a person to use all five senses—to taste the wine, smell the spices, see the flame of the candle and feel its heat, and hear the blessings. If a woman drinks the wine during Havdalah, however, tradition says she will become like a man, with chest or facial hair.
Failure to properly dispose of your nail clippings may cause a pregnant woman to miscarry, if she steps over them.
The Gemorah (Moed Katan 18a; Niddah 17a) tells us that "the righteous burn their nails, the pious bury them, and the wicked carelessly discard them."
The Gemorah explains that nail clippings must be carefully disposed of lest a pregnant woman pass over them and miscarry.
Listening to a woman singing will make men want to have sex with her. Kol Isha states that listening to a woman sing will cause arousal in men, and thereby detract their attention from God. In modern Orthodoxy, they really only apply this to prayer time.
It is bad luck to sleep with your head to the door... due to the fact that that is how the dead are carried out, probably.
So... although in modern Judaism, superstition and belief in something without proof is pretty much frowned upon, its interesting to see what the orthodox beliefs are!
Women have a very important role in both Orthodox and most contemporary practices of Judaism. The Jewish heritage is primarily passed down through the mothers’ blood line. In Orthodox belief, the children of a Jewish mother are Jewish, even if the father is not Jewish. However, the reverse is not true. There is not really such thing as “half Jewish” – either you are or you aren’t Jewish. If your mother was not Jewish, then you are not Jewish (unless, of course, you convert to Judaism). So it is the responsibility of the woman to pass down and keep the faith of the Jewish people intact. This is unusual compared to other religions and it begs the question of whether the Jewish people would have survived had it not been for women, passing down the Jewish heritage from generation to generation.
Women are considered “separate but equal” in Jewish law. The position of women in Jewish law (halakhah) that dates back to the Bible was actually much higher than the status of American women up until 100 years or so ago! Women were permitted to own property, make their own legal contracts, run a business (as long as it didn’t interfere with the primary duty of raising children), take part in leadership roles and government roles, advocate for those less fortunate, and even choose who (or whether) they would marry in some instances. It is no surprise that many of the women who led the feminist movement in America were also Jewish: the respect given to Jewish women was part of their culture.
Men and women’s equality in Judaism starts with the most supreme being: God. The Jewish people have never viewed God as male or female; instead saying that God has both masculine or feminine qualities. Due to the fact that Hebrew does not have a gender-neutral pronoun, God is referred to as “he”, but as one Rabbi said
“God has not body, no genitalia, therefore the very idea that God is male or female is patently absurd. We refer to God using masculine terms simply for convenience sake, because Hebrew has no neutral gender; God is no more male than a table is.”
According to traditional Judaism, women were actually endowed with more intelligence and intuition than men. The “man” that was formed in Genesis was actually dual gender, then he was separated and women were “built” rather than formed, which made her superior. Early Jewish opinion was also that the matriarchs of Judaism, Sarah (Abraham’s wife), Rebecca (Isaac’s wife), and Rachel and Leah (Jacob’s wives) were superior to their husbands in understanding and comprehending the will and words of God. Miriam, Moses’ sister, helped with the freeing of the captive Jews from Egypt, and led them with her brothers to the desert. Women weren’t thought to be involved with the idolotry and worship of the golden calf in the desert that resulted in the first set of 10 Commandments being broken by Moses and the following 40 years of desert wandering.
Rabbis in the Talmud speak of their wives with respect, even inserting their wives’ opinions and thoughts into the text. Indeed, rabbi’s wives had a title of their own: “rebbetzin” and were well respected for their wisdom and opinions, which were often accepted over their male contemporaries. The Talmud is both positive and negative about women; as is the Bible. They have many positive things to say, but also describe women sometimes as lazy, jealous, vain, prone to witchcraft and divination, and sexually tempting to men. ((The Talmud has an equal number of things to say about men that are negative, however, and that should be noted.))
A VERY interesting (and unique) point in my discovery was that women have the right to be consulted with regard to their marriage. Marital sex is a woman’s right, not a mans; therefore, unwanted marital sex is recognized within traditional Judaism is considered rape and not permitted. In America today, rape within marriage is not a crime in most states. Also Orthodox Jewish women AND men must cover their heads, although for women it can be with a wig. Most Orthodox men wear a hat.
The primary duty of a woman in traditional Judaism is to be a wife and a mother, and care for her home. There are many laws that women are exempt from because they might interfere with the woman’s home duties, which is not to say that a woman can’t participate, only that she doesn’t have to, if she so chooses. Women are also discouraged from extensive religious study and higher education on the grounds that a woman might become too devoted and forget her duties in her home, which should come first.
There are three mizvot (commandments) that are reserved exclusively for women: Lighting the candles, separating a portion of dough, and sexual separation during a woman’s menstrual period and ritual immersion afterward. The candle lighting must be done by a woman, if there is a woman present, and it marks the beginning of Shabbat or a holiday. It signifies a sacred time in the home. The privilege of separating a portion of dough from the bread before baking it is also the woman’s responsibility, and signifies the family support of the priests at the temple. Traditionally, the separated bread is given to the kohein, who is a descendent of Aaron (Moses’ brother) to help with their livelihood and well-being. The Torah prohibits intercourse during a woman’s menstrual cycle and requires a ceremonial cleansing after the period.
It is interesting to note that for the construction of the Golden Calf, the women refused to participate and refused to let their children participate. The Bible talks about while Moses was up on the mountain talking to God, “the people” came to Aaron and asked him to make an idol for them to worship. Aaron told them to go get the golden rings from their wives and sons and daughters, implying (and widely believed) that it was the men who wanted the calf. When they went to their wives and sons and daughters, the women refused to participate or give up their gold. For this refusal, the women are rewarded by getting their own holiday on the first day of each month: “Rosh Chodesh”.
Within the place or worship, women and men are typically separated by traditional Jewish Law, although its important to note that Reform Judaism and more contemporary versions, have removed this restriction and allowed women to not only sit with men, but also to lead in some aspects of the services, as well as undergo Rabbinical training!
One last interesting note with regards to Jewish women… there is a character who is not in the Bible, but who is mentioned in the Talmud and Jewish folklore called Lilith. Although Christians do not buy into the belief in Lilith and she is not mentioned in the Bible, in Judaism, Lilith may have been a female demon who seduces men and threatens women and babies in childbirth. She has long hair and wings and could be the mother of demons. The root of her name is the Hebrew word for night. She is very similar to a pagan demon of the Babylonians. The revisionist view of Lilith is not all negative, however, and she is portrayed as a strong-willed and empowered woman. The tale presented by one Jewish teacher is that Lilith was Adam’s first wife:
After God created Adam, who was alone, He said, 'It is not good for man to be alone' (Gen. 2:18). He then created a woman for Adam, from the earth, as He had created Adam himself, and called her Lilith. Adam and Lilith began to fight. She said, 'I will not lie below,' and he said, 'I will not lie beneath you, but only on top. For you are fit only to be in the bottom position, while am to be in the superior one.' Lilith responded, 'We are equal to each other inasmuch as we were both created from the earth.' But they would not listen to one another. When Lilith saw this, she pronounced the Ineffable Name and flew away into the air. Adam stood in prayer before his Creator: 'Sovereign of the universe!' he said, 'the woman you gave me has run away.' At once, the Holy One, blessed be He, sent these three angels to bring her back. "Said the Holy One to Adam, 'If she agrees to come back, fine. If not she must permit one hundred of her children to die every day.' The angels left God and pursued Lilith, whom they overtook in the midst of the sea, in the mighty waters wherein the Egyptians were destined to drown. They told her God's word, but she did not wish to return. The angels said, 'We shall drown you in the sea.' "'Leave me!' she said. 'I was created only to cause sickness to infants. If the infant is male, I have dominion over him for eight days after his birth, and if female, for twenty days.' "When the angels heard Lilith's words, they insisted she go back. But she swore to them by the name of the living and eternal God: 'Whenever I see you or your names or your forms in an amulet, I will have no power over that infant.' She also agreed to have one hundred of her children die every day. Accordingly, every day one hundred demons perish, and for the same reason, we write the angels' names on the amulets of young children. When Lilith sees their names, she remembers her oath, and the child recovers."
Questions for Joel:
What is the difference between the Jewish Race and the Jewish Religion?
Is your wife and family Jewish?
Have you ever eaten bacon?
Do you really take off work on all the days the Torah suggests?
Do orthodox Jewish women really shave their heads? and why?
Do men and women have equal standing in the synagogue you attend? Are you reform or orthodox (if you are still Jewish)?
