she's gone off the reservation...who knows what will happen now!

Source

When I started this religious journey, I wanted to connect with God. I thought my idea of God was all wrong, and I was right. In typical Joni fashion, I drew a clear roadmap with destinations and directions. In typical Joni fashion, I followed that map to the T, stopping at all my pre-determined points… until I ran out of gas/saw something shiney. The truth is, I love this project. I love religion! (gasp!!) And I love God. But what I really, truly love is hearing the stories. The stories are what ignite my passion, the stories are what move me to tears, the stories are what distracted me from my plans. I struggled for a time with the fact that the stories weren't fitting in categories, they weren’t matching my master plan, they were off the beaten path.

good news MONDAY! kindness rocks

I love random (planned) kindness. Wish I would have known this was happening in Dallas!!!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/25/kindness-captured-volunte_n_1699656.html

Inspiration on a Tuesday - Redeemed.

Redeemed. I looked up the meaning, and redeemed means “to restore the honor, worth, or reputation of.”
Also, it means “to recover ownership of by paying a specified sum.” Not, to own by paying a specific sum, to RE-own by paying a specified sum. It’s reclaiming something that is already yours by paying for it again.

The word “redeemed” has been bogarted by Christianity in some sense, but haven’t we all been redeemed?

Good news Monday! (kleenex alert)

I'm pretty sure there's nothing more special than the love between siblings. Today, I'm thankful for my brothers, and I'm thankful for these two guys below who love each other unconditionally!!

"When I see him smiling and laughing, that means he's having a good time" 
-Connor Long, 9 years old.

For the Full Story, click here!

A little good news on a Monday!

I love good news, and I love reading about people who are making good things happen. This article made me happy today, and I declare Mondays from here on out as "Good News Mondays". So let it be said, so let it be done. Amen! :)

 Good news Monday story of the day:

9 Nanas 

Somewhere in West Tennessee, not far from Graceland, nine women -- or "The 9 Nanas," as they prefer to be called -- gather in the darkness of night. At 4am they begin their daily routine --

what about fierce love?

Source

Hans Deutsch, an atheist cartoonist, wrote after his encounter with the Unitarian Universalists:
"There is something that urges me to tell you... how much I admire your utter self denial [and] readiness to serve, to sacrifice all, your time, your health, your well being, to help, help, help. I am not what you may actually call a believer. But if your kind of life is the profession of your faith—as it is, I feel sure—then religion, ceasing to be magic and mysticism, becomes confession to practical philosophy and—what is more—to active, really useful social work. And this religion—with or without a heading—is one to which even a 'godless' fellow like myself can say wholeheartedly, Yes!"

If there is one thing I admire most about UU philosophy, it is wholehearted devotion to love and compassion and justice. It is following up on flowery words with action. It is feeding the hungry, reaching out a helping hand to the weak and helpless, giving hope to the hopeless. It is BEING Christ, rather than talking about him. Of course, those are all my words, not theirs. Those are my impressions from the outside, and I should mention that my impressions from the outside are quite frequently not exactly right in real life.

That said, UU draws from many sources its [completely unorthodox] approach to "church":

• Direct experience of that transcending mystery and wonder, affirmed in all cultures, which moves us to a renewal of the spirit and an openness to the forces which create and uphold life; 
• Words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love; 
• Wisdom from the world's religions which inspires us in our ethical and spiritual life; 
• Jewish and Christian teachings which call us to respond to God's love by loving our neighbors as ourselves; 
• Humanist teachings which counsel us to heed the guidance of reason and the results of science, and warn us against idolatries of the mind and spirit; 
• Spiritual teachings of earth-centered traditions which celebrate the sacred circle of life and instruct us to live in harmony with the rhythms of nature.

The transforming power of love. Fierce love for those around us. As you know, I am studying to become a Chaplain. One thing that draws me to the Chaplain ministry is the ability to love people - not from behind a pulpit, or within the walls of a church alone, but where they are: in the place where they fell through the ice and discovered nothing was below to catch them except freezing hell. The place where their lives are altered forever on the corner of a street, watching their friend slip away. The place where loss and life intersect and grief guides broken hearts toward an answer. The answer I want to give them is not just an ethereal being somewhere in the atmosphere. The answer I want to give them is love. Fierce Love.

I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God.... (Romans 8:37-39)

Nothing at all standing between us and God's love. Not the icy waters suffocating our breath, not the chill of death gripping our heart, not the greatest distance in the world.

God is LOVE, the Bible says. If we were made in the image of God - that is, with his purpose -  then we, too, are love: it is indeed our greatest and most important function. "In the beginning was the Word and the Word was Love, and the Word was with Love, and the Word WAS love." (John 1:1)

That word, LOGOS in the Greek, is the marriage of human reasoning and Divine intelligence. 

Traditionally meaning word, thought, principle, or speech, [logos] ... is marked by two main distinctions - the first dealing with human reason (the rationality in the human mind which seeks to attain universal understanding and harmony), the second with..the Divine. (http://www.pbs.org/faithandreason/theogloss/logos-body.html)

I leave you with this video... encouraging you to greater heights of FIERCE LOVE!

step(s) of faith

So I have this thing about talking about money. I don't. Ever. Period.
I don't talk about having money, I don't talk about wanting more money, and I CERTAINLY don't talk about not having money. I don't even like hearing other people talk about money.

For this reason, the recession has left me with very few news-watching opportunities. It seems like every time I turn on the news, all they are talking about is money, money, money! Its like watching dental procedures!!! (I also have a thing about teeth, but that's another topic altogether).

Growing up, my family was pretty poor. My dad worked a low-paying job, and my mom mostly stayed home until I was in high school. We had no money whatsoever. We would eat beans, rice, and homemade tortillas every day except Sunday, when we would have meat. Sometimes our electric bill wouldn't be paid. One year at Christmas, we didn't have the money for Christmas presents.

New beginnings [and] Ocean Depths

I realize I've sort of taken a detour from Judaism. I should have wrapped up my Jewish experience with this wonderful interview I had with a beautiful and intelligent Jewish woman and her husband already. I have that interview and conversation halfway typed and saved as a draft. The thing about my visit with Mary Blye Posani is that she made me think differently about God. She was the culmination of everything I had been learning for the past months. She made me think about sacred spaces and mystery and seeking out those things for myself... and I couldn't really just type up what we talked about and move on. I had to process it all for myself, and figure out what God was saying to me... so I apologize for the detour into my own life and heart and experience... and I will eventually get to that talk I had with Mary on Shabbat, and wrap up Judaism properly, and move on to my next experience. I promise! 
*****************************

On November 6th, at 6pm, I am going to be baptized.

I was baptized as a kid. Maybe 9 or 10. I accepted Jesus when I was 5 or 6. I didn’t understand what either of those things meant, and besides all that, what was God washing away? The sins of a child – lying to my parents, disobeying, hitting my brothers... I didn’t really get it.

So I grew up and made different choices, and when my husband and I split in 2006, I left God and the church, too. Only, I missed God. I blocked him out and I tried to fill up the spot where he was, and instead, I just made a big mess out of my life.

Day 1 of Judaism - Finding your missing piece

Welcome to Judaism! As promised, this week I have started back on my religious journey. First stop, Judaism. First topic, soul mates.

As always, my own life and circumstances color everything in my writing. For the past months, I have been asking myself “Is there such a thing as a soul mate? And do you only have one in your lifetime? What if you miss him/her? What if they die an untimely death at eight and now you’re cursed to spend the rest of your life soulmateless?” It’s a grim prospect to me. And of course, I go to the worst possible scenario:

"What if my soulmate was on a boat like on Deadliest Catch and he was trapped between one of the pods and the side, and then his leg got cut off, and right now he's in a hospital somewhere on the East Coast recovering from this injury, but that hospital is about to get blown away by the HURRICANE?!? WHAT THEN!"

Christianity Wrap-up, Part III - Tilde's story of resiliance and healing

This is Tilde's story.
I guess for me my whole transformation started back in 1994. I was married in 1991 – I was 23 and my husband was 20. We were in the military, and we were really young, and I had not dealt with a lot of issues that I had growing up as a child. I was molested from the time I was five until the time I was eleven or twelve by multiple people (family members, but not my parents, they had no clue). I really didn’t tell anyone until I was seventeen, and at that time, I just told my mom about one person, not about all of it.

Keeping that to myself was really hard, so it all came out in marriage: being young, and not knowing really how to deal with all that anger and rage and jealousy and insecurity. I could be a really bad wife at times, when that side of me would come out. I hated it.

Christianity Wrap-Up Part II - Dawn's Story [the caretaker]

This is Dawn’s Story.

I’m the oldest of 6 kids and all of those kids are either half siblings or adopted. Obviously, I came from a fractured home, and in my case, it was fractured more than one time.

My mom was an alcoholic and a drug addict. I was born in Houston and when I was about two years old, my mom, who was pregnant at the time with my little sister, left her home under the cover of night, took me and moved with a Marine to California. She had my little sister, then eventually my little brother, and I remember from the time I was about five years old being surrounded by people who were doing drugs, drinking, a lot of sex. I remember seeing my mom on drugs and drunk. I was molested more than one time when I was a kid, just being around all the sexual promiscuity, the drugs, and the alcohol abuse.

meltdown on aisle 3 - parenting and Christianity

Attention Walmart Customers. We have a meltdown in aisle three. A meltdown in aisle three. Make that aisle four. She's moving through pretty quick - watch your step, it may be slippery!

To borrow my friend Lindsey's phrase, yesterday we had a Nuclear Family Meltdown. It was an F-5. It was off the Richter scale. It was catastrophic. It was in Walmart.

a parable of love

Over the next few weeks, I am giving up "distractions" for Lent. I will be writing and posting and putting my blog on facebook, but I won't be interacting as much as normal, for a reason: I am trying to learn to be LOVED. To be vulnerable, to face my shame, to feel fear and sit with it. This is an introduction to my Lent perspective, and maybe a little glimpse into what God is telling me in my own life.

Lessons in Contentment

Content: satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.

Personal inventory of what I am and have:

Love in my life

Healthy Relationships

Three Beautiful Children

Day 15 - A Crash Course in Depth

Like any religion, Islam has several levels, but unlike most religions, the levels are clearly defined, build upon one another, and are bascially:

Ritual --> Realization --> Relationship

The first level of Islam is the actions of being Muslim. It means incorporating the Five Pillars of Worship into life, which are the ritualistic elements:
1. Making a public statement of faith that there is no God but God alone, and Muhammad was his messenger.
2. Praying five times daily
3. Contibuting at least 2.5% of your income and assets to charity
4. Fasting from dawn to dusk each day for the 30 days of Ramadan
5. Making a once in a lifetime pilgrimage to Mecca.


The second level, deeper and going beyond the ritual, is intellectually embracing the beliefs of Islam and changing your thought patterns. It is believing the foundational beliefs of Islam - and belief requires agreement with your mind. I think about people who believe things without knowing what it is they believe exactly.

Believe (verb)
to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so.

Believing requires abandoning passivity and embracing and active engagement of your thoughts, to allign with that which you're believing in. It involves the intellect, and the action of aligning your thoughts with a set of tenets that are not inherent in human existence.

The third (and deepest) level is the heart. It is the emotional investment in belief. It is the hardest to do, but it is the most important level, if you truly want to know God. For Muslims, the third level is Sufism - the heart of Islam. It is the conceptual framework of the religion and builds the bridge between the intellect and actions to the intangible creation of a relationship between yourself and God.

Note: When I say "sufism," I am simply referring to the original meaning of the word, not the group of people who identify themselves as Sufis necessarily. A "sufi" in the purest sense of the word is simply a Muslim who seeks direct experience of Allah. There are Sufi orders, and a group of people who identify themselves as Sufi, but I was just referring to the raw meaning of the word.

Only when you reach the third level can you truly understand the deep compassion and love within Islam, and, while you can live your life disregarding this level, only when you reach it have you begun relationship with God.

Day 10 - Sweet Blasphemy - Loving God Part II

I have a foundational belief, that being: God is love.

The God who is love is the reason I began this project. I read a book called The Fourty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak and it altered my perspective on loving God. I grew up believing that there was only one way to love God and that my perspective on God (the Christian perspective) was the ONLY [right] perspective. I believed that other religions were worshipping someone other than "my" God, the REAL God.

A parable was told by the Shams of Tabriz, a Muslim scholar who taught and learned from Rumi, a well-known Muslim scholar, teacher, and poet. The parable Shams told was of loving God "correctly" and it was part of the beginning of my eyes being opened to the idea that perhaps there is more than one correct way to love God.

I don't know if I'm violating some copyright rules, but here is the story told by Shams:

One day Moses was walking in the mountains on his own when he saw a shepherd in the distance. The man was on his knees with his hands spread out to the sky, praying. Moses was delighted. But when he got closer, he was stunned to hear the man's prayer:

"Oh my beloved God, I love Thee more than Thou can know. I will do anything for Thee, just say the word. Even if Thou asked me to slaughter my fattest sheep in Thy name, I would do so without hesitation. Thou would roast it and put its tail fat in Thy rice to make it more tasty."

Moses inched toward the shepherd, listening attentively.

"Afterward, I would wash Thy feet and clean Thine ears and pick Thy lice for Thee. That is how much I love Thee."

Moses had heard enough. He interrupted the shepherd yelling "Stop, you ignorant man! What do you think you are doing? Do you think God eats rice? Do you think God has feet for you to wash? This is not prayer! It is sheer blasphemy."

Dazed and ashamed, the shepherd apologized repeatedly and promised to pray as decent people did. Moses taught him several prayers that afternoon. Then he went on his way, utterly pleased with himself.

But that night, Moses heard a voice. It was God's.

"Oh, Moses, what have you done? You scolded that poor shepherd and failed to realize how dear he was to me. He might not be saying the right things in the right way, but he was sincere. His heart was pure and his intentions good. I was pleased with him. His words might have been blasphemy to your ears, but to Me, they were sweet blasphemy.:

Moses immediately understood his mistake. The next day, early in the morning he went back to the mountains to see the shepherd. He was praying again, but this time he was praying in the way he had been instructed. In his determination to get the prayer right, he was stammering, bereft of the excitement and passion of his earlier prayer. Regretting what he had done to him, Moses patted the shepherd's back and said: "My friend, I was wrong. Please forgive me. Keep praying in your own way. That is more precious in God's eyes." (Elif Shafak, The Fourty Rules of Love, pg 51)

I was judging the way that other people connected to God and the path that they took to reach him. In reality, I was prescribing a path to God based entirely upon my cultural context of God. If other's connection to God is real, and if their prayers are sincere, regardless of my personal or cultural belief system I believe that a God of love cannot possibly ignore that. A God who is love cannot turn his back on himself and reject the love given to him.

The book I read began to change my perspective and made me wonder what the other perspectives looked like... hence my journey.