Welcome to Judaism! As promised, this week I have started back on my religious journey. First stop, Judaism. First topic, soul mates.
As always, my own life and circumstances color everything in my writing. For the past months, I have been asking myself “Is there such a thing as a soul mate? And do you only have one in your lifetime? What if you miss him/her? What if they die an untimely death at eight and now you’re cursed to spend the rest of your life soulmateless?” It’s a grim prospect to me. And of course, I go to the worst possible scenario:
"What if my soulmate was on a boat like on Deadliest Catch and he was trapped between one of the pods and the side, and then his leg got cut off, and right now he's in a hospital somewhere on the East Coast recovering from this injury, but that hospital is about to get blown away by the HURRICANE?!? WHAT THEN!"
Nothing much is said about marriage, much less about soulmates, in the Torah (the main Jewish holy book, most of which is in the Christian Old Testament). The Talmud is the guiding force behind the Jewish marriage traditions. According to the Talmud, 40 days before a male child is conceived, there is an announcement made in heaven. The voice in heaven is announcing the “beshert” – the fate or destiny – of this soul that hasn’t yet been conceived. So the announcement goes something like this: “The Son of John and Judy Smith is destined for the daughter of Will and Emma Thompson!”
Before their souls are even sent into the physical world, before their bodies have even begun to form, they were united in Heaven as one. Then, as they grow older, they start to realize that part of their soul is missing, and they seek that one who will fit the missing part. The soul yearns to feel complete, and so the search for that soul mate begins and they hope and pray that they find the one who was destined for them in heaven.
Of course, finding your beshert doesn’t mean that your life will be perfect, by any stretch. That you will have no problems in your marriage, that your families will exist in perfect harmony, that you will always feel the passion and love… it only means that you have found the other piece of your soul, and if you want to keep that piece, you work hard to do so. ((Jewish law does allow for divorce, should it not work out, however.))
Lastly, on finding your beshert: I was eager to see if there was some sort of test, or a person you could go to, or someone/something that would tell you definitively if you’ve found your soulmate. How do you KNOW he/she is your soulmate? The traditional teaching is that you cannot know who your soulmate is… but once you marry, the one you marry becomes your beshert. Maybe because G-d knew you two would end up together since before the beginning of time. Maybe because of magical serendipity. Maybe because of ((destiny and fate)). Maybe just because of the divinity of CHOICE. ((The following is my own interpretation)): Our choice makes us divine. Our ability to create our own destiny makes us divine. And our ability to choose our soulmate makes us the creators of love in some sense.
Those sayings, “Love is a choice” and “You choose your life” – according to the Talmud, this is true. Your beshert is a beautiful display of fate, but a fate that you chose.
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I adore this interpretation! It is exactly what I believe. Realize your divinity!
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