what REALLY matters?

Edited to update: I am collecting donations for the folks in Joplin MO, so if you would like to make a donation, I'll make sure it gets in the right hands. You can paypal it to jonikmartin@yahoo.com

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End of the world at 6pm (local) Saturday? Epic fail.
The end of the world as they knew it for those in Joplin Missouri yesterday when a tornado tore a path of destruction 4 miles wide through the town? Well, that's closer.

They say you have two families in this life: The one you're born with and the one you choose. The one I chose had a chunk of damage from the storm yesterday that left 79 people dead. My company owns 5 restaurants in Joplin Missouri. Two of my friends live there, a co-worker and his wife, who I have become very close to. They are safe. Our stores are safe and their crews. But things like this make you think about what matters.

the LDS perspective on prayer [and revelation]

prayer
Prayer is an important aspect of living life as a Latter Day Saint. If you read my post "How to be a Muslim, Mormon or Christian for 30 Days" you have seen that prayer is important in any religion that I've studied, and no less emphasized in Mormonism.

Personal prayer: morning and night
Couple prayer (if married): morning and night
Family prayer (if applicable): morning and night
Meal prayers: at each meal

The Mormons believe that God wants to communicate with us: he loves us, he knows our needs, and he wants us to communicate with him through prayer. Although there are not prescribed prayers in Mormonism, instructions are given to them about how to pray:

on prayer, ritual, and relationship

Prayer. Arguably the most important practice in Christianity. Arguably the most forsaken.

Prayer is how you become a Christian to begin with, right?

I remember the day I accepted Jesus into my heart, as a five year old, praying with my Sunday school teacher, Ms. Sanders. She asked us if we wanted to receive Jesus and I was so eager to please Jesus, so eager to please Ms. Sanders. I wanted them (Jesus and Ms. Sanders) to be happy with me and think that I was a good girl, and I raised my hand.

Catholicism Begins: The Rosary - Engaging the Mind and Body

Written Sunday, but my computer wasn't cooperating ;-)

Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.
Francis of Assisi

Saturday night I did my first Rosary. I guess I never knew exactly what a Rosary was, except, in generality, prayer. It is an interesting perspective on prayer, from another Christian group, to see the structure and thoroughness of Rosary. I recall that, as I was taught to pray, you simply start a conversation with God. I started a conversation with God more than 20 years ago, and my "Amen"s are more of a pause than an end. The Rosary is a beautiful celebration of structure, commitment, devotion. I thought Muslims devoted a lot of time to prayer, but I had no idea how long Catholic prayer takes.

In researching Catholicism over the past few weeks, I have learned that, even being sisters with my own Protestant religion, and even having the benefit of tradition and movie spotlight consistently over the years, I have much to learn about Catholicism, and I look forward to this portion of my journey, as I try to find that elusive love and devotion that sainted so many.

These things I know about Catholicism:1. Catholics own a lot of art and keep it at the Vatican. The Pope lives at the Vatican as well, and he's the top guy in the church. Also, the Pope can't be a woman.

2. Unlike Protestants, Catholics give a special reverence and position to the Holy Mother Mary. It's not that Protestants don't respect and cherish the position she had as the mother of Jesus, but its more that they don't believe that position carried on beyond her human life. Her matriarchy is overshadowed by her son's godship. (as a side note, I find this practice of almost ascribing deity to her both fascinating and touching... I wonder how my relationship with the Holy Mother will change as a result of this experiment.)

3. Confession and forgiveness of sins to one another is a central part of redemption in Catholicism. This is so central to the religion itself, and so different from the Protestant way I was brought up. To ascribe the ability of forgiveness to humans, and, further, forgiveness for wrongs that have not even been committed against us, makes the way we relate to each other so much more powerful. To think that going to a priest and asking forgiveness for something, and being absolved from that thing simply by asking, and not by asking God, but by asking a brother in humanity... It is very different from the Protestant approach of "confess your sins to God and God alone, he will forgive you." There is, even through anonymity, a sense of personal responsibility imbued upon the confessor when we speak of those things in the presence of another. At least, I would think there would be.

4. Catholics, though better known perhaps for their bloody past with the crusades, are probably almost entirely responsible for the survival and spread of Christianity and the survival of the written New Testament in history. They have a marked ability to cherish and preserve not only tradition, but the written word.

5. There is a lot of activity in a Catholic church service (based on what I've seen on TV and in movies). A lot of sitting, kneeling, standing, kneeling. I find the activity comforting - much like the ritual of prayer in Islam, it feels like you are engaging your body AND your soul in the quest to reach God.

Finally, I am still trying to get some Catholic women "sponsors" to help me as my Muslim friends did during my Islam period. I have looked online at the Catholic churches nearby and I am fascinated by how much you must do and know to get into the church, to become a member. Unlike the Protestant way that I grew up with, where the only thing required for membership was a trip to the front of the church at the end of a service, the Catholic membership procedure involves learning, speaking, confessing, and confirming. There are prescribed steps to follow and check points along the way. It is not a simple matter, and the challenge of that membership makes it more appealing to me, actually.

I'm looking forward to this portion of my journey!

For me prayer is a surge of the heart, it is a simple look towards Heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.
St. Therese of Lisieux

Day 23 - Muslim Boys Must Pee Sitting Down

Interesting facts: Yes, you heard me correctly.... Muslim men and boys should pee sitting down (if at all possible).

Surah ‎001 : 1.019A : One may not urinate while standing.

If a person can guarantee that no impurities will touch his clothes, it is permissible to urinate while standing. Aishah (the favorite wife of Muhammad) said, "If someone relates to you that the Messenger of Allah (her husband, Muhammad) urinated while standing, do not believe him. He only urinated while sitting."

However, as my friend Rachel points out, one should not forget that what Aishah said is based on the knowledge that she had - since Muhammad had somewhere between 4 and 13 wives, according to different accounts. If he was truly treating them all equally, as the Quran commands, then he only spent maybe 2-5 days with her a month.

However, a follower of Muhammad, Huzhaifah relates that the Messenger of Allah, upon whom be peace, went to a public garbage dump and urinated while standing. Huzhaifah went away, and the Prophet then called him over. The Prophet made ablution and wiped over his shoes.

These are important issues in Islam, a religion that says something about every single aspect of your life. To be safe, Islamic men and boys prefer to urinate while sitting, that way they avoid even the possibility that they may cause themselves to be unclean.

Speaking of unclean, the Wudu or ceremonial washing must be performed mutliple times a day - after sleeping deeply, so first thing in the morning before prayer at around 6:24am. Then, it must be performed again if there is any secretion of blood, urine, feces, semen, or even gas before the next prayer time. With prayer five times per day, it is no wonder that Muslim people are very clean all day!

The washing ceremony, which I was taught by some Muslim friends, involves washing first the right hand three times, then the left. Then your mouth is washed out three times. Inhale water into your nostrils three times (without swallowing). Then, you wash your face completely including your eyeballs, only once. After that, wash your arms from wrist to elbow, three times, right side first. Then wet your hair, from front to back and back to front, then your ears. One time each. Lastly, wash your feet (right side first, as always) three times to the ankle.

Now, you are ready to pray! This washing can be done in less than two minutes by someone who is efficient, but it takes me more than five minutes each time.... More interesting customs to come!

Day 9 - Submission...is [not] a dirty word

Most names of religions are derived from the name of the founder of that religion, or something related: Christianity is obviously derived from Christ. Judaism from the tribe of Judah and the region of Judea. Buddhism from the teacher, Buddha. Hinduism from the region in which it was founded, Hind. Confucianism was named after Confucius, Zoroastrianism after Zoroaster, and the list goes on.

Islam is one of the only world religions not named for someone or somewhere. The word Islam, in fact, is an Arabic word that means simply “submission” [to God]. It comes from the root Salema, which means “peace, submission and obedience."

The main foundational action in Islam is submission to God: being in a state of purposeful surrender to God’s laws and directives. And one of the things Islam emphasizes is the choice; embracing Islam means to embrace submission. It means to make a choice to submit to God.

Take the prayer, for instance, which is performed five times daily. They not only say the words of prayer, but they prostrate themselves in a physical posture of submission before their God.

Submission has not always been a pleasant word for me. I was told growing up that submission was required of me, that lack of submission constituted rebellion, and that God would turn his back on me if I was in rebellion. In my marriage, my then husband told me that I wasn't being submissive when I simply disagreed with him or questioned him. My “lack of submission” would cause God to withdraw his blessing from our family and our children and was sufficient reason for him to send me away back to my parents’ house. Submission did not feel like a choice to me, it felt like an obligation.

One of my favorite quotes is by Anais Nin and addresses the question of submission within marriage: "I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work the touchstone, the command, my pivot... I am going to be pursued, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding."

Yesterday, as I was reading this quote again, I thought about submission within Islam and in my own life. Submission itself was not what I despised. I don’t mind following: allowing domination and leadership in my relationship with Mark. In fact, I love choosing submission. What I don’t like is being forced to choose it.

I choose submission to Mark because I love him, I respect him, I trust him, and he has EARNED that love, respect and trust. I don't submit to him because he tells me I must or because religion tells me I must. That is the difference: it is a chosen submission.

Perhaps in the same way as marriage, our submission to God should be a chosen submission. We are submitting to him, we are serving him and worshiping him out of respect, honor, reverence, trust and love. I do things for Mark because he has earned my love and my trust, my respect and my honor. I submit to him, not out of compulsion or fear, but out of devotion and love: because I CHOOSE to.

How appropriate that the word Islam reminds Muslims of their purpose, and the reason they chose this path to begin with. My friend Adrianne said of submission: “Submission is laying your desire down for the desires of another. Doing it willingly makes submission a place of strength not weakness.” Willingness to submit to God and purposefully surrendering to Him, is not just required of Muslims, it defines them. And the fact that it is done willingly is testament to the strength of their conviction.

We submit to gravity because we don't have a choice. But I believe when religion becomes obligatory, we lose the relationship; and without the relationship, we lose the humanity.

God never wanted us to lose our choice, because our choice is what makes us human and makes the relationship authentic. It is the choice that makes it real. It is the choice that makes it love.