Attention Walmart Customers. We have a meltdown in aisle three. A meltdown in aisle three. Make that aisle four. She's moving through pretty quick - watch your step, it may be slippery!
To borrow my friend Lindsey's phrase, yesterday we had a Nuclear Family Meltdown. It was an F-5. It was off the Richter scale. It was catastrophic. It was in Walmart.
The day started way too early with the kids waking up BEFORE the crack of dawn and letting the puppy out of her crate, but not out of the house which resulted in poo and pee everywhere. MOOOOOOOM! I slid out of bed (even though I could feel my body screaming obscenities at me).
Cleaning poo and pee is not the funnest thing to do in the morning. Then no coffee. How could we get to the point where we are out of coffee? Is this even a possibility? Diet Coke it is. Fix breakfast for three hungry kids, and notice that the dishwasher is broken. That... and the ice machine, the front bathroom cold faucet, and the shower head in my bathroom, and the front door latch. Oh, and the kitchen hot water has to be turned off under the sink or it runs all day. Big sigh.
The kids wanted pancakes and after eating them, I went out in the back to check on my plants that should have been put in the ground weeks ago, so off to home depot to get the potting soil. At home depot the kids thought it would be a great idea to play "hide from mom" and spent the entire time hiding in model sheds and bins. When Jesse came barrelling down the aisle narrowly missing a man with the wheelbarrow he was pushing, the pot was close to boiling over.
Next stop, Walmart, where I had to argue with the Walmart banker about whether or not my married name was Hutchinson and whether or not Joni Martin and Joni Hutchinson were indeed the same person for a property tax refund check I had to deposit in my account. She still looked at me suspiciously when I pulled out my old drivers' license with my previous married name on it to show her.
In the meantime, the kids were pretty sure we were at a free-for-all carnival rather than Walmart and were attempting daring acrobatics from the shopping cart. When I finished at the Bank of Walmart, I was beyond impatient and headed to grab the food items I needed before leaving.
"Mom! Can we have pickles?"
"Mom, we need some spaghetti O's"
"Mom, why can't you get FROSTED FLAKES?!! Dad lets us have them!!!"
Never mind that I have NEVER bought frosted flakes for them, they never fail to ask.
Will, get off the cart, please. I can't steer.
Will, get off the cart, please. I need you to walk. I can't push the basket.
Bella, will you please get off the cart. Did you hear me ask Will to just get off the cart 20 seconds ago? Please. get. off. NOW.
WILL. GET OFF THE BASKET! HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO ASK YOU! YOU JUST KNOCKED DOWN AN ENTIRE DISPLAY OF HORMEL PEPPERONI AND PIZZA BREAD! GET OFF NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE LOST YOUR PRIVILEGES FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!
Then the announcement. It was an official meltdown in aisle three. Mom screaming at her children who are looking at her with a combination of fear and amazement. Other women shoppers looking with pity and/or judgement (what are you looking at lady? Its not like this hasn't happened to you!). Grandmothers shaking their heads. Dads grinning slightly as they pushed past the explosion.
And me. Pushing the cart as fast as I could to get out of that store and to my car where I could complete my meltdown and reset for the next one.
Parenting.
It is an art form. There are parents who are worshipped, parents who are scorned, parents who are just trying to get by. There are DEFINITELY parents who never receive a lick of credit until they are honored posthumously. I hope I fall into the "parents who are decent and did the best they could" category. Parenting is not for the weak of heart.
The Bible and Christianity has a good deal to say about parenting, actually. Titus 2:3-5 directly addresses being a mother:
Deuteronomy 6 says to teach your children to love God:
There are thousands of books on Christian parenting - how to be a good parent, how to be a better parent, how to be a patient mother, how to be a woman of honor, and Proverbs chimes in again with the poster child for the Perfect Woman and Mother:
It is a good thing that Christianity also emphasizes grace because otherwise we would never measure up (at least, I wouldn't).
Taken in context, Christianity by and large emphasizes love, discipline, respect, and consistency in parenting. It emphasizes teaching your children values and the importance of loving God. It emphasizes being consistent in the message you give your kids ("Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it," Proverbs 22:5-7). And it emphasizes grace. And while grace isn't necessarily bolded in the child-rearing verses, I think its safe to say that the same grace that has been given to the us as sinners could be applied by us to our children. Grace. The 5-letter word for Love. I need to remember that next time I'm looking like this:
To borrow my friend Lindsey's phrase, yesterday we had a Nuclear Family Meltdown. It was an F-5. It was off the Richter scale. It was catastrophic. It was in Walmart.
The day started way too early with the kids waking up BEFORE the crack of dawn and letting the puppy out of her crate, but not out of the house which resulted in poo and pee everywhere. MOOOOOOOM! I slid out of bed (even though I could feel my body screaming obscenities at me).
Cleaning poo and pee is not the funnest thing to do in the morning. Then no coffee. How could we get to the point where we are out of coffee? Is this even a possibility? Diet Coke it is. Fix breakfast for three hungry kids, and notice that the dishwasher is broken. That... and the ice machine, the front bathroom cold faucet, and the shower head in my bathroom, and the front door latch. Oh, and the kitchen hot water has to be turned off under the sink or it runs all day. Big sigh.
The kids wanted pancakes and after eating them, I went out in the back to check on my plants that should have been put in the ground weeks ago, so off to home depot to get the potting soil. At home depot the kids thought it would be a great idea to play "hide from mom" and spent the entire time hiding in model sheds and bins. When Jesse came barrelling down the aisle narrowly missing a man with the wheelbarrow he was pushing, the pot was close to boiling over.
 |
| these little angels could grow up to instigate a meltdown? say it ain't so! |
In the meantime, the kids were pretty sure we were at a free-for-all carnival rather than Walmart and were attempting daring acrobatics from the shopping cart. When I finished at the Bank of Walmart, I was beyond impatient and headed to grab the food items I needed before leaving.
"Mom! Can we have pickles?"
"Mom, we need some spaghetti O's"
"Mom, why can't you get FROSTED FLAKES?!! Dad lets us have them!!!"
Never mind that I have NEVER bought frosted flakes for them, they never fail to ask.
Will, get off the cart, please. I can't steer.
Will, get off the cart, please. I need you to walk. I can't push the basket.
Bella, will you please get off the cart. Did you hear me ask Will to just get off the cart 20 seconds ago? Please. get. off. NOW.
WILL. GET OFF THE BASKET! HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO ASK YOU! YOU JUST KNOCKED DOWN AN ENTIRE DISPLAY OF HORMEL PEPPERONI AND PIZZA BREAD! GET OFF NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE LOST YOUR PRIVILEGES FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!
Then the announcement. It was an official meltdown in aisle three. Mom screaming at her children who are looking at her with a combination of fear and amazement. Other women shoppers looking with pity and/or judgement (what are you looking at lady? Its not like this hasn't happened to you!). Grandmothers shaking their heads. Dads grinning slightly as they pushed past the explosion.
And me. Pushing the cart as fast as I could to get out of that store and to my car where I could complete my meltdown and reset for the next one.
It is an art form. There are parents who are worshipped, parents who are scorned, parents who are just trying to get by. There are DEFINITELY parents who never receive a lick of credit until they are honored posthumously. I hope I fall into the "parents who are decent and did the best they could" category. Parenting is not for the weak of heart.
The Bible and Christianity has a good deal to say about parenting, actually. Titus 2:3-5 directly addresses being a mother:
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. (ESV)It is fair to say that I love my children, but self-controlled? Ummm... I might have lost it on aisle three. Kind? Well, I TRY to be kind, but it is not a constant state for me, by any stretch.
Deuteronomy 6 says to teach your children to love God:
You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (ESV)Proverbs emphasizes the importance of discipline, and Colossians adds the post script that while discipline is important, it is even MORE important to make sure that discipline must be balanced with love, or children may grow up resentful, discouraged, and rebellious. (Proverbs 13:24, Proverbs 19:18, Colossians 3:21).
There are thousands of books on Christian parenting - how to be a good parent, how to be a better parent, how to be a patient mother, how to be a woman of honor, and Proverbs chimes in again with the poster child for the Perfect Woman and Mother:
10An excellent wife who can find?This indeed is the checklist many Christian women use to determine their worthiness (or room to grow) as a woman. Really? The Proverbs 31 woman seems like Wonder Woman, Rosy the Robot on the Jetsons, and June Cleaver all rolled into one. Certainly perfect and certainly unattainable. Especially on days like today.
She is far more precious than jewels.
11The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
22She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29"Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all."
30Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.
It is a good thing that Christianity also emphasizes grace because otherwise we would never measure up (at least, I wouldn't).
“[God's] grace is sufficient for [me], for [his] power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9, NIV)Whew. Weakness. Now THAT'S something I have a lot of, as a woman, as a mother, as a ... pretty much in every aspect of my life. Finally a box I can put a check mark in!
Taken in context, Christianity by and large emphasizes love, discipline, respect, and consistency in parenting. It emphasizes teaching your children values and the importance of loving God. It emphasizes being consistent in the message you give your kids ("Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it," Proverbs 22:5-7). And it emphasizes grace. And while grace isn't necessarily bolded in the child-rearing verses, I think its safe to say that the same grace that has been given to the us as sinners could be applied by us to our children. Grace. The 5-letter word for Love. I need to remember that next time I'm looking like this:
Thanks for the verbal birth control! :)
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