a [crisis] of faith

**This blog post has been written in my journal, emailed to my best friend, and scribbled on napkins for the past six months... it has been an ongoing process, thinking and praying and trying to figure out where my head is. This is sort of the compilation and resolution to how this projected has affected me personally over the past eighteen months.**

It was never supposed to get personal. You see, I started out this project with a set of beliefs and values. I wasn’t willing to compromise them or [disbelieve] them, and I wasn’t thinking that even the consideration of those prospects would be a problem. I thought that I could happily maintain my own belief system while objectively reporting on the beliefs of others.

I mean, granted, I was willing to see God in a new way. I was willing to explore the spiritual practices of other groups, and incorporate some of their views on God into my own theology, if the occasion arose where those beliefs did not clash with the beliefs that I already had. I was even willing to go so far as to say that what was right for me is not necessarily right for everyone, and their beliefs could be right for them and wrong for me. But I knew what I believed and my foundation wasn’t going to shift. ((I thought.))

Islam was my first religion to study. It came to me easily. They incorporated my own prophets from the Old and New Testament. They had some funny rules,

Words

I discovered this amazing tool at Wordle, courtesy of Brene Brown! Since I love word pictures, I did one for Hope's Journey, using my tag words!

Repost: why I [love] organized sports

Well... I've been out of kilter lately, completely consumed with my non-profit and getting our website up (check us out at http://www.eleanorleague.org/ ). I have written a partial post about my interview with Jewish author and speaker, Mary Blye Howe, but alas, it isn't finished yet, so I'm reposting a post from ealier last year...!

************
Politics and religion are among my favorite topics for dinner conversation. I know they are taboo, but I get so energetic and happy hearing other people's views on the topics. Never mind that you're a republican (I just threw up a little in my mouth) or a democrat (ok, this time it made it onto my desk), or that your views on women's rights are woefully 18th century, or that you think we should start handing out hundred dollar bills to homeless people leaving the liquor store...

Never mind that ((your)) God is the one true God and your religion likewise. That you believe [I] am going to hell in a handbasket or that you believe [you] are the only one with a patent on right. You are on a team and your team is exceptional... more, your team is undefeatable and comprised of immortals. Which brings me to my point.

I love organized sports for many of the same reasons people love religion:

Living with heart: Dedicated to Josh Canal

What words do you say when someone you love leaves? This past 12 months, I have had more touches with death around me than ever before. My father-in-law, my grandmother, and last weekend, my friend, Josh.

Josh was bright. When he entered a room, the lights actually burned brighter, trying to match his will and his courage.

Josh was born with a heart condition that made the doctors shake their heads and say "no" alot to him: They all said he wouldn't run, he wouldn't play sports, he wouldn't live to see adulthood or get married. Josh didn't let that stop him, though... proving doctors wrong was one of his chief joys.

I remember growing up when he would stay over at my house and play with my brothers. He and his brother Caleb were my brothers' Chad and John's best friends. The four Amigos. They were quite the muskateers. And they always annoyed the hell out of me. :)

Josh had so much will and vibrance, always laughing riotiously; as a cool pre-teen, I had no patience for their silliness...but you couldn't help but laugh along (even if you also were rolling your eyes) when they were cracking up over something.

Josh's will propelled him through boyscouts; I remember him racing cars with my brothers at the pinewood derby, and playing on the huge lot in front