Matt and I decided that we were going to go to a Walter Wink seminar in Lombard, IL instead of going to the communication & spirituality seminar in our hometown this weekend. Would have been a very easy thing to fly under the radar on except that the host of the seminar just called me and asked if we were coming. So, I told her no, and that it was because we were going to Lombard to hear Walter Wink instead.
Painless enough, right? WRONG. This is precisely the kind of communication that usually gets me into trouble. Feeling bad for a decision I've made, or for changing my mind, etc. I will usually feel extreme pressure to lie ("Yep, wouldn't miss it.") or to come up with some sort of "valid" reason for not doing something.
I wonder why it is that I can be honest about major things but it is these stupid little social engagements or societal expectations that make me want to lie, lie, lie like a theiving whitie.
Oh, the anxiety. I can still feel it in my gut...rapid heartbeat...nerves on edge...tension in neck. Argh!
Since my last post there haven't been too many things to be radically honest about, other than work and things with Matt. At least nothing terribly exciting.
Confessions? Hmmm... well, I fell off the no-sugar wagon. I had A LOT of sugar at a friend's going away party on Saturday night and I had a cup of coffee with a slight bit of sugar yesterday morning. Then I decided that since I already blew it by kinda absentmindedly adding it to coffee (less than 1 teaspoons) that I should really go out with a bang so I ate 5 or 6 caramel squares last night. Alas, I'm back on the no-sugar wagon today. I must admit, though, that I am going a bit crazy. I want to consume large amounts of sugar and pass out in glucose-induced bliss.
And I am pretty confident I am either allergic to my dogs or to my house. I felt pretty good in Texas, and while I am definitely BETTER than I was a couple of weeks ago, I still feel like @$$.
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