Judge Ye Not - An Intro to My Perspective on Christianity

I am genetically predisposed to being judgmental. It’s a fact. From a young age, I learned to judge everything in my path:
According to my mom, white bread and store bought tortillas were pitiable expressions of laziness on the part of mothers who served them. The tortillas should be homemade, and the bread, if not homemade (which mine was) should at the very least, be whole wheat. Tea should always be made with artificial sweetener. Anything less proved a completely lackadaisical approach to diabetes (which most people were sure to get, at some point).

We were to steer clear of any kind of full-sized van because all those who drove full-sized vans were either perverts, kidnappers, sadists, or homeless people who lived in that van – there were no exceptions, and we were to stay far away from those vans, even if the drivers offered us candy, money, ice cream, or crack to get inside.

According to my dad, real musicians write their own lyrics and melodies AS WELL as sing them. The exceptions to this rule were few: George Strait, Sandi Patti, and a couple others. The others were not true musicians, they were simply singers or strummers. Foreign cars and car makers were inferior, and should only be driven when all other options had been exhausted. Foreign cars were made by foreigners, probably foreigners who took the time to scratch I HATE AMERICA and place a voodoo curse upon the vehicle before it was shipped to the United States. Long-haired boys were either pansies or hippies and both pansies and hippies were undesirable. People judge you by your hair, he said, and that hair needs to be short, if you’re a boy.

My aunt and uncle insisted that parents who didn’t home school their children were bad parents who either naively trusted in the government (which was pretty much a collection of lazy, lying politicians) or who just didn’t care about their children learning the Word of God at a young age. Additionally, all music with drums was inspiring an African beat in your heart that would eventually turn you to drugs, sex, and/or tribal killings. Women who wore red fingernail polish or fishnet stockings were “ladies of the night”, and if you wore red fingernail polish, you were announcing to the world your association with such ladies. (As we grew older, the lessons deepened from my aunt, saying that sex was appropriate only between a husband and a wife, and only in the missionary position. All other positions were undeniably satanic. Dancing was out of the question. My aunt was such an expert at all things prohibited sexually that she authored a book on the matter, which she was kind enough to allow me to be among the first readers.)

My grandparents insisted that democrats didn’t know their ass from their ankles, they were driving this country on a straight road to hell and that they were pretty much all bleeding heart liberals who didn’t believe in anything except giving money away to indigent bums or illegal aliens.

Also, Baptists were the only denomination who got it “right” and Methodists were probably in the car with the democrats on the highway to hell. Mormons, Catholics, Jehovah’s witnesses, Presbyterians, Charismatics, Assemblies of God, and those non-denominationals (pick one, already! This isn’t a hippie commune in the 60’s!) were definitely in the car – make that a bus – with the democrats.

The town and church I grew up in reinforced the judgmentalism. Girls who wore short skirts were definitely sluts. Women who spoke up, had better be speaking up about who’s volunteering to bring pies to the church social or who has nursery duty next week. Rock and roll was all giving subliminal messages off when played backward, and Christian rock was the trickiest of all because they PRETENDED to like God, but really, their lyrics were as “Secular” as all the rest. And the beat was the same. Straight to hell you go. (“Secular” became a dirty word – if someone accused you of listening to secular music or having a secular lifestyle, it was an insult of the greatest proportions. Worldly was another dirty word, reserved for things such as thigh-high boots, black fingernail polish, AC/DC, and post-affair Amy Grant.

The theory of evolution was a lie created by Darwin (one which he renounced on his deathbed). Women who had abortions were murderers, and the doctors who performed those abortions even WORSE than murders and child molesters put together.

So you see, it is no wonder that I have struggled against judgmentalism my entire life, and I will tell you that I am judgemental about all kinds of things:

I judge people based on bumper stickers – if you have stupid bumper stickers on your stupid car, I judge you.

If you have huge hair and blue eyeshadow, I smile as I walk by, but I think “where are the legwarmers? Does she think this is 1984?”

I believe most ice cream trucks sell drugs in addition to ice cream. I believe that most Chinese people working in beauty salons are here on some sort of slavery basis to pay off their passage to the US and their Green card. When I see Italian men, I assume immediately that they are not only flirts and players sure to cheat on your first chance they get, but also members of the mob (or at least somehow involved in organized crime).

People who speak in ebonics, I immediately judge as uneducated. Men who drive Camaros and Porshes are arrogant assholes who will cut me off first chance they get.

Psychiatrists are not your friend, and in fact, they can’t be trusted.

People who write cookbooks are NOT writers, they are simply recorders of data. And their recipes don’t work.

Men named Steve are manipulative and controlling, and will stab you in the back first chance they get. ESPECIALLY if they also are part of a home business, such as Meleleuca and/or Amway.

Speaking of home businesses, I automatically assume that when I meet someone who sells something, they want to try to trick me into selling that product too, because it is a multi-level marketing scheme.

Women who carry designer bags with the name of the bag written on it 500 times are not only pretentious, but are asking to be mugged. People on death row generally deserve the death penalty. Especially if they are child molesters.

The people I judge MOST are super Christians, however. Probably because I used to be one and because I know so many of them, I just assume they are all the same, that is: right about everything, unable to see another perspective, passionately defensive about inquiries into their belief system and/or reason for believing, and, yes, JUDGMENTAL.

I am judgmental. I continually surprise people with this, however. Namely because I can’t STAND judgmental people (hypocritical much?). It drives me insane when I hear folks group an entire population together and pass judgment upon them based on their religion, their hair color, their skin color, their belief system, their geographical location (although, its true, people from Louisiana ARE slower than the rest of us), or their occupation (with the exception of ice cream truck drivers – they really ARE drug dealers. How else can you make a living selling Sponge Bob ice cream bars and Rocket Popsicles?).

The problem with me is that while I am judgmental, I am also objective. It’s a dichotomy. I can see multiple perspectives of the same issue. I can argue two opposing points (and have spent many an afternoon happily debating myself on the advantages and disadvantages of health care reform). I can see from one guys’ perspective, then turn around and completely understand why someone else feels completely the opposite.

So I guess you could say that I’m more open minded than non-judgmental.

During my religious study, Around the World’s Religions in 180 days, I think Christian will be the hardest for me honestly. Because while Muslim, Hindu and Buddhist belief systems are diametrically opposed to what I have been brought up to believe, I can see their point, I can see why they believe what they do, I can understand their perspective.

With Christianity, though, I see people that I once belonged to (And I guess still do, technically), who spend their days talking about the pregnant teen of their neighbor rather than mentoring the 15 year old mom-to-be. I see people who would rather lash out defensively that they and ONLY they are right, than to listen to someone else’s perspective. I see people who accuse other people of being murderers when they themselves have never been in the position to make that choice, and if they had, they might have even made the same one. I see people who care more about their image than they do about their heart. Who call others on the prayer line to prayer for so-and-so, when its really just a cover for gossiping about that person. I see people who, when given the opportunity to sit around and drink coffee and discuss acts of love, or go out and perform them in real life, choose to sit idly by. In short, I only see the bad.

These are the things that have biased me against my own religion, and this is why Christianity is going to be such a challenge for me in this experiment.

I compulsively feel the need to stand up for the person being slammed in any argument. I need to defend that person (whether I personally agree with them or not) against the judge. I need to point out the flaws in the judger’s logic, and I need to explain to them that, if they were just a little more open minded, they could see clearly that this person is not so different from them. And this is the heart of my experiment, anyway, because THAT I do believe. I believe that every person is who they are for a reason. They do what they do for a reason. They sin, they hurt, they grow, they injure, they attack – they do this for a reason, because this is what they have learned from their environment. I have hoped to overcome my judgmentalism as I get older and more “Worldly” (uh oh, now I’m headed to the bus stop with Cher and Amy Grant), but I find myself still judging Christians in general and Super Christians in particular. It is my hope that during the months of December and January I will find what there is to not judge (at least to not judge negatively), and I will be fair to the group I’m hardest on: my own.

But the point is, I'm really not that different from you, or you from that guy, or that guy from Nelson Mandela. When you get down to the bare bones, we are all REALLY similar and it wouldn't hurt to see one another's perspective every now and then because it doesn't lessen the strength of your own position, it just allows you to grow as a person. That's my opinion, and that's the real reason I'm doing this experiment to begin with.