I apologize for not having blogged this week, I have been sick and sleeping during all of my free time, so blogging took a back burner.
Day 30 came and went on Wednesday, and found me going to the grocery store for Halloween candy and cold medicine. I wore one of Mark's short-sleeved t-shirt over yoga pants.
I have to say, when I went to the grocery store uncovered not only was I FREEZING, I felt almost naked without my protective wrap of scarf and shirt!! Much like when I first started wearing hijab, I felt that people were looking at me in my "nakedness"!!
I also realized that taking off my hijab caused another issue that was unexpected. The hijab is almost a barrier between myself and being judged. Stay with me here. When I wear hijab, I am telling people right at the get-go that I am Muslim. There is a very slim chance that they will judge me later - either they want to be nice to me as a Muslim, or they don't. I'm putting it out there and by putting it all out there, risking less chance of rejection later on - at least on the religious choices spectrum. It is, in that way, a wall between myself and the outside world, and if people are willing to still talk to me, be friends with me, reach out to me, I know up front that they are ok with the fact that I am a Muslim. Unlike when they find out after talking to me that I am, in fact, NOT a super-Christian, or that I AM a Christian, or a Mormon, etc.
Being a Muslim did not particularly change my life all that much. Not eating pork was a little challenging, given my love of pizza, but it was do-able. Following the rules of washing and praying was an adjustment, but after getting used to it, was easy. The pre-dawn prayers were the hardest for me, and the lunch time prayers, while I thought they would be difficult, being how I was at work during that time, were easier.
I learned a number of things about the religion that I shared with you... and here are my thoughts: [End Objectivism, Begin Opinion]
1. The women I met are modern women with rights and lives outside of their homes. In theory. The fact that they CHOOSE to be submissive to their husbands, go home immediately in the middle of a girls' night because their husband refuses to change a baby diaper, reschedule meetings because their husbands' meetings trump theirs, can't follow a career path because their husband doesn't want to be bothered with picking up the slack for a working wife... those things separate them from what a non-religious modern woman might deal with. However, those are things that, regardless of how far women have come, many MANY women deal with, regardless of how "liberated" we technically are. My concern was the lack of ambition and goals outside of family that many Muslim women have. I understand the importance of family, but I also understand the importance of fulfillment. Sometimes (not all the time), in my experience, just reproducing and raising children and being married, cooking dinners, cleaning house does not a fulfilled woman make.
2. I was stunned by the number of Muslim people who don't value America in the same way I do. I was stunned that 1 out of 4 AMERICAN Muslim young men between 18 and 30 said they didn't condemn the terrorist attacks on 9/11. I was stunned to find that statistic true in both the articles I read and the people I met - who may not agree with the taking of innocent lives, but justified the reason those lives were taken. I was stunned that American Muslims are not American first. I had to examine myself and find out - was I a Christian first or an American first, particularly when I was actively involved in Christian life? I came to the conclusion that I was American first. "God AND Country" was how I was brought up, God having almost equal footing with America. America representing the ideals of how I could live my life and how far my potential could reach, and God being the boundary to guide my character. While there might have been a time once when I thought, as the Christian right does, that this country was (is) a Christian country founded on Christian ideals, I would never have supported the idea of removing all religious freedom except that of the Christian. I find that many American Muslims would do just that, making this an Islamic nation, and, like the Christian right, reducing or eliminating the rights of others to choose another religion.
When you take a group of people from countries that hate America, and have been trained all their life to hate America (for valid reasons, in many cases), then you transplant them as adults or young adults to American soil for education and opportunity, it is no surprise that they continue to see the viewpoint of countries who hate America. I'm not saying it is their fault, I'm simply saying that it was surprising to me.
3. Another surprise for me was how politically and culturally entrenched the religion is as a whole. Many of the rituals practiced are cultural hand-me-downs, continued to be practiced in a culture where they are no longer as relevant. It was difficult to separate the religion from the culture in which it was formed. I had expected, going in, that the religion was practiced in its pure form - unlike, I thought, the diluted and Americanized form of Christianity we practice here. Not so. Islam has the same difficulties with cultural influence that we have in Christian churches, the only difference is that theirs is a convergence of two opposing cultures influencing the religion.
More reflections (read: opinions) to come... :-)
Joni, I am very interested in the nakedness aspect and the judging upfront (instead of later). It actually makes me want to wear a hijab just to see how it would feel; however, is that hypocritical of me? What if a Muslim, sensing some commonality approached me to ask me something Muslim-related? Do I just say 'Oh, I am just doing an experiment' and then they are mortally offended? If you think no, then I might try it! ;-)
ReplyDeleteJolee - I don't think any of the Muslim women I met would be offended by seeing a non-Muslim in hijab. They might be puzzled!! :-) But if you're doing it with a heart to really see what they experience and/or understand how it feels, I think anyone should feel flattered by your effort. I told my Muslim friends that I met that I doing an experiment and I asked the same question at the outset - is what I am doing offensive to you? - and they said it wasn't offensive to them because I wasn't doing it in a mocking way.
ReplyDeleteThere is a very well known woman called The Non-Muslim hijabi, she has a huge Muslim following. Personally speaking I would never be offended about somebody wearing hijab.
ReplyDeleteJoni, I am glad that you are being objective, Blindly believing without questioning is not mandatory in Islam, however some find that belief is strengthened by belief, while others beliefs are strengthened by hard proof, either way I know it is necessary to remain objective, though I may be different than you on a couple points, such as being American first, Of course we believe that first and foremost we belong to Allah, so that is why we are Muslim before we are American... but that does not mean we don't love being American, its just different levels of love <3
About 9-11, I think maybe those statistics are true because many people don't believe Muslims had anything to do with the attacks on America So perhaps they aren't condemning Osama Bin Laden because they don't believe he is guilty? just a thought :-) Oh also, Fufillment is not in what you do not have already, it is in the process of achieving what it is you want to achieve For many women fufillment is when they see their first child get married, for others its when they see
For me my fulfillment is in my home, but also in helping others outside my home, I guess my definition of fulfillment is satisfaction :-)
Z - thank you for the support. I COMPLETELY get the God first thing - I am not saying that the way I am is the *right* way to be, its just my way! LOL!! Also, regarding the 9/11 stats - I think it wasn't because they didn't believe Muslims crashed NYC, it was because they understood the perspective of the countries those men came from. And, if I could separate myself from being American for about 5 seconds, I could understand that, given the terrible things our government enacts overseas, if the same was happening in my country, I would be unhappy. However, they took revenge on the wrong people - the people that don't know what the government does half the time (I don't believe most americans would support government action, if they understood the motivation behind it).
ReplyDeleteI think you are very helpful, and honestly, have been so open and kind to me! I appreciate it, I appreciate all of the Muslim Sisters who have helped me along the way!!
9/11 - yes... reading Osama Bin Laden's 2004 speech to America (can be googled easily) is eye-opening. If you see it from the perspective of 'them', then you can empathize (which is naturally conflicting with the views of condemning the attacks and may make a person feel uncomfortable). But it is absolutely right what Joni said - relatliation was geared toward the wrong people on that day. It is horrendous what they did (and yes, it was also horrendous what the U.S. did over there too), but the Qur'an is clear when it says that it is absolutely forbidden to kill innocent 'non-combatants' like women and children. War is for the battlefield, not the back yard.
ReplyDeleteJust playing devils advocate for a minute (because in no way do two wrongs make a right) but often times individuals who have family in places like Palastine, Afghanastan, Iran, etc. See what the US government is doing to their people the same way as Americans see what the hijackers did to the victims of 9-11.
ReplyDeleteThe casualties of war are never those that know what their government and the rogues are doing but they are killed and injured anyways. We often forget that thousands of innocent men women and children are killed in these countries due to the actions of a rogue few. In return a whole community is then demonized.
As for women, I think that is entirely community based. I was never raised to live my life for a man, I was raised to follow my dreams and pursue them and not to stop what I want to for a man.
As for the practices of Islam, there is sort of a want to return to the fundamentals of Islam, especially by a lot of the younger members of the community. The older generations still have the connection to their home and are often stuck in their ways. Those of us who grow up in the west don't have those same connections and look to the purer practices rather then just going on what we are taught by our parents. Of course I also choose not to blindly follow but to learn listen and then make my own decisions, Allah gave me a brain for a reason and to blindly follow would be a disservice to the gift I have been given.
I have to say that I am shocked at your findings.While there are many women who "choose" to be submissive, there are many who dont as well. While there are many Muslim men who refuse to change a diaper, there are many American men who refuse to change a Diaper. There are many very successful and fulfilled Muslim women. I was hoping that you would focus your efforts on the religion itself rather than the people who follow it. People are just people and are bound to have shortcomings.....
ReplyDeleteMy comments on the following: "I was stunned by the number of Muslim people who don't value America in the same way I do.... America representing the ideals of how I could live my life and how far my potential could reach, and God being the boundary to guide my character."
ReplyDeleteVast majority of American Muslims' take is exactly what you wrote in the last sentence: Islam is a value proposition and America is the cultural context and country in which that value proposition takes concrete shape. Islam guides the behavioral limits and sets certain expectation of duty to God and other creations and fellow human beings - family, community, society, and country. In this respect, Muslims outlook is no different than what you stated as yours. They may not state that idea as polished as you do. Muslims will be whole-heartedly willing to defend this country against outside attacks. Where they will be hesitant is to participate in unjust wars against other countries such as attacking and occupying other countries for their natural resources or fighting proxy wars on behalf of others.
Muslims have a history to prove this point. In India, which was a Hindu majority country, more than 17,000 Muslim scholars died fighting for freedom along side with the people of other religion in the 1857 war against British. I don't have to repeat the nastiness the Brits have done around the world. Whichever country they had occupied, they left that country sowing the seeds of internal dissension and fit for internal wars.
"While there might have been a time once when I thought, as the Christian right does, that this country was (is) a Christian country founded on Christian ideals, I would never have supported the idea of removing all religious freedom except that of the Christian. I find that many American Muslims would do just that, making this an Islamic nation, and, like the Christian right, reducing or eliminating the rights of others to choose another religion."
This is again a wrong conclusion arising from biased sample set of study. Islamically, what Muslims seek is the right to practice their religion and openly share and invite others to their religion. The duty of a Muslim ends there. Whether a person accepts God and Muhammed(PBUH) as the past prophet is up to that person. Muslim do not want to convert this to an "Islamic nation", whatever you meant by that statement.
Muslim do not employ the tactics and propaganda Christians employ in converting people to Christianity. Just look at some of the pamphlets Christians missionaries use: full of lies against Islam and Muslims. Muslims believe that their message - oneness and uniqueness of God and brotherhood of humanity and guidance through a series of prophets culminating in Prophet Muhammed - is clear and convincing and it can stand on its own.
If you are using the opinions of Muslim extremists, you need to compare them to the Christian extremists such as Southern Baptists and Evangelics. I, as a practicing Muslim, hold both the Muslim version and Christian version of extremism in utmost disgust
You will find enlightened and well informed Christian scholars like Huston Smith admitting to the western propaganda against Islam. In addition, Islam has never became and will never become a racist religion like the "White man's" Christianity has become.
It is understandable that in 30 days there is so much you can learn and understand. But, please do not conclude that what you have understood in 30 days is the correct understanding. American Christian intellectual like Huston Smith has spent a life time studying Islam and other world religions. You will benefit from the writings of such people in your effort to understand world religions. His book The World's Religions would be of immense benefit to you.
May God Bless you.
Take care