Joni - Day 2 Blog

1/27/09 – Radical Honesty Day 2

I must say I was disappointed today to only be able to use my radical honesty with annoying sales guys. However, taking a vow of blunt forthrightness has its plusses when I’m talking to annoying sales people:
“To tell you the truth, Joe, I lied to your co-worker when I told him that we were interested in your product… No, its not something that we would use here at all this year… Well, to tell you the truth, I had a conversation with my boss about this project and he told me it was useless, and you should know that we’ve both been wasting our time by pursuing it. I’ll let you know if I change my mind.”
Yes, that felt good.

But other than that, what have I had to be honest about? Only Mark last night – he discovered a distinct advantage of being on the observation end of 30 Days of Radical Honesty – namely, the ability to ask me any question and get a forthright answer (or a ruined experiment).

He started with the broad question, “Is there anything you haven’t told me or that you have lied to me about?”

Me: “Of course there is.”

Him: “Well, what is it?”

Me: “I can’t think of every single thing off the top of my head! Can you ask me something specific?”

Him: “Ok, have you ever purposefully put my recycling in a place that would cause it to go to a landfill and destroy the environment (i.e, the garbage)?”

Me: (Ouch. Yes, yes I have. And I’m not making an excuse for my abominable behavior, but my entire back closet is full of recycling that hasn’t been recycled, that we have been saving for months, some over a year! Not to mention the egg cartons we save ‘because they might be useful’, the egg SHELLS we save because ‘we are going to make chalk out of them’ (we’re talking dozens and dozens of egg shells!!!!), and various other, in my mind useless items. So, back to my response…) “Yes. Yes I have. At least twice that I can think of, I took as much recycling as I could carry to the dumpster. You were out of town or at least gone for a day or two. I’m sorry. “

Me: “Actually, scratch that – if I’m going to be completely honest, I’m not really sorry. I don’t like having bags of recycling crowding up a closet that I might want to store other stuff in. It annoys me greatly. And it feels good when I throw your recycling in the garbage because I feel convinced that it will never leave my closet otherwise.”

Me: “And, when I think I can get away with it, I throw your recycling in the trash can to begin with, when I empty the can or the bottle - and I throw away eggshells too. I just hide them under other things in the trash hoping you won’t see them.”

He looks genuinely hurt.
I feel genuinely sorry for him.

Me: “I’m sorry.”

Him: “You’re lying.”

I consider this.
Me: “Well, I’m sorry you’re upset about it anyway.”

Larger Truth for the Day: I quit 99% of things before or shortly after I start them. That is just an estimated statistic. But many or most things I quit before I give them a real chance (example: girl scouts, volunteering for various organizations, church (this go around), books I'm writing). Some things I quit before I even start - example, my detox. However, in some metaphorical way, I suppose I am doing my detox right now. Detoxing my system from the lovely life I have created with half truths, deception and white lies. :-)
The only way I keep myself from quitting is if I can lock myself into it somehow - for instance, if I borrow money for school and then I spend the money, I can't really drop my classes and pay back the money for that dropped class, right? :-) Its why I commit to things quickly when I make a decision. Even if I don't stick with it that long, I'm decisive, thats the truth. :-)